So you鈥檙e planning to travel back home or to Lagos for Detty December in this sapa-demic? Wow, very brave. Since we can鈥檛 stop you from making this choice, the least we can do is mentally prepare you for all the wahala you鈥檒l go through on your December trip.
Good luck.
Flight tickets are more expensive than two Asake tickets
Someone needs to explain why everything is expensive in December. Are we the ones who gave birth to Jesus?
If you thought flight and bus tickets were expensive during the year, get ready to meet holiday ticket prices because your account will cry hot tears. And that鈥檚 not the end. Regular bikes and taxis will also start calling crazy figures, as if they鈥檝e been waiting for you to help them complete the house they鈥檙e building in the village.
Traffic everywhere
The amount of traffic you鈥檒l jam this holiday season (especially if you go to Lagos) will make you wish you鈥檇 just sat in one place. There鈥檒l be traffic on your way to the airport or bus park, traffic on your way out of there, traffic heading to where you鈥檒l stay, traffic at your estate gate, traffic in your home and traffic in your life. As a matter of fact, half of your life will be spent in traffic.
Like Davido said, 鈥淓 choke!鈥
Airport people will ask you to 鈥淒o Christmas鈥 for them
This is one of the most annoying things you鈥檒l experience at the airport. If you breathe to the right, billing. If you breathe to the left, billing. By the time you finish dropping small 鈧︹500 here and there, all your money will finish, and you鈥檒l end up trekking from the airport to your house.
You need to hold ransom money
To avoid stories that touch, kindly travel with your ransom money, so in case you get kidnapped, they won鈥檛 have to stress about calling your relatives. What if your family uses Glo, and the call doesn鈥檛 go through? Or they use GTB, and their bank app doesn鈥檛 load on time? Help the kidnappers to help you, please.
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Scarcity of buses
Quick question to bus drivers: where do all your buses go during the holidays? Because they鈥檙e always plenty during the year, but as soon as it鈥檚 Christmas, you have only four buses (so you increase the price). We know what you people are doing.
Delayed flights
If your flight is by 5 p.m., get ready to leave that airport by 9 p.m. at least. But that鈥檚 only if you get to the airport early. Because if you get to the airport by 4:30 p.m., there鈥檚 a high chance you鈥檒l miss your 5 p.m. flight. I don鈥檛 know how they do it, but they鈥檇 delay flights if you鈥檙e early or on time but disappear if you鈥檙e a minute late. I honestly think it鈥檚 jazz.
Family members will ask about your weight and marriage date
If questions about your weight or marital status don鈥檛 pop up when your family picks you up from the airport or bus park, know they鈥檙e saving it for when you get home. The moment you enter your front door (and throughout the holiday), you鈥檒l start dealing with 鈥淎hn ahn, what are you eating?鈥 and 鈥淭his your cousin is getting married next year. Shey we should still be praying for your own?鈥
You that hasn鈥檛 been on a date in two years? Pele, dear.
Everyone in Lagos will be busy or angry at something
This is for people going to Lagos.
As soon as you enter, you鈥檒l feel the need to start rushing even if you have nothing to do. Don鈥檛 worry. It鈥檚 not a spiritual attack; it鈥檚 the Lagos spirit. Everyone here moves like they鈥檙e in a life-or-death situation. When you think about it, living in Lagos is an extreme life-or-death sport.
ALSO READ: It鈥檚 Not Detty December if You Don鈥檛 Do These Things
