Creative Ways to Announce Your Pregnancy to Parents Who Aren鈥檛 Yet Expecting Grandkids From You
Now you鈥檝e fallen pregnant. Your parents aren鈥檛 yet ready to have grandkids from you, but the universe seems doesn鈥檛 care.
So how do you break the news that a heritage from the Lord has taken up space in your womb? We gotcha.
1. Play God鈥檚 Plan by Drake before telling them the news
Sing the song over and over before telling them that for you is to have a baby in the next nine months. Find the inner musician in you and add the announcement to the lyrics of the song. Continue singing until your parents figure it out.
2. Tell them someone left a baby in your womb
You鈥檙e actually not lying or being dramatic. Someone actually came over and left a baby in your womb and you weren鈥檛 given a return address.
3. Put the pregnancy test strip in their food
This way, they鈥檙e going to consume the information with their food, saving you the stress of having to use your words. Let your parents digest the information.
4. Tell them the Virgin Mary hired you as her intern
Mary was in Heaven wondering what a Jesus version 2.0 would look like and decided to come down to earth to use you to do user research. It鈥檚 not like you went out of your way to get pregnant o; Mary is simply using you.
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5. Tell them you swallowed a seed and it鈥檚 germinating inside your body
It鈥檚 not like it鈥檚 a lie anyway. You were eating something; you didn鈥檛 know it was a fruit that has seeds and you accidentally swallowed the seed, now the seed is growing into a baby. When you swallowed that seed, you thought it鈥檇 come out in your poop, but unfortunately, it turned out to be a baby seed.
6. Start calling your parents 鈥淕randpa鈥 and 鈥滸randma鈥
When they ask you why you鈥檙e calling them those titles, you鈥檒l tell you you鈥檙e practising for a future that鈥檚 closer than they think. If they ask you how close, you tell them less than 1yr and 9months when their grandkids can speak.
7. If they’re Christians, randomly send them Psalm 127:3
鈥淐hildren are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.鈥 They should close their eyes and thank God for their wonderful gift.
8. Please, leave the country
Buy a ticket or get a night bus going to Benin Republic, Cotonou or Ghana.If you鈥檙e rich enough, buy a ticket to Australia. Go as far away as possible. When you arrive in your new country, tell them you moved to create a better life for your child 鈥 the one in your tummy.
9. Start by asking them to join you as you sing Miracle Worker
Dig into your choir mistress bag and sing all the songs you know about miracles. By the time you and your parents are done singing, they鈥檒l know God has done a miracle that you want to keep.
10. Tell them you fulfilled one of their heart desires
Which parent doesn鈥檛 want to be a grandparent? That your clocks may be working in opposite directions doesn鈥檛 mean their heart desire hasn鈥檛 still been fulfilled. They should even be thanking you for your service and love. Look at you being a very thoughtful child.
ALSO READ: 8 Nigerian Women On Their Funniest Pregnancy Moments
