I鈥檓 not nosy, but my 17-year-old junior brother is always talking about how funny the guys on his anime group chats are. I was bored, so I begged him to send me an invite.
As someone who spent an uncomfortable amount of time on anime group chats when I was 16, I know how messy they can be, but funny? I had to see.
People of earth, this boy lied. All these boys do is argue and share hentai links, and now, I’m worried my brother鈥檚 humour is broken. Here are the things I noticed in my two days on the group chat.
They don鈥檛 text during the day
I learnt this the hard way when I joined in the morning and tried to introduce myself. I got the airing of a lifetime. E pain me small, but who has died from being aired? Exactly, no one.
They all flock out like evil spirits at 11 p.m. because that鈥檚 when their midnight data starts working, so they can download anime and fight each other.
One of the rare occasions when they messaged during the day. The next reply was by 7.
These boys might stay single forever
The first thing I saw when I joined was a link to Hentai Haven. Why are they casually sharing porn? It was at this point I decided to read their group’s info, and I became scared for my life.
I wish they were joking, but people actually introduced themselves this way.
The lack of girls
It鈥檚 not that there are no girls on the group chat. They just don鈥檛 talk, and I don’t blame them.
The one time I saw a girl talk, she mentioned that she didn鈥檛 like Vinland Saga, and they dragged her for at least an hour. Then they started to question if she liked anime at all.
I guess this gives you a preamble of why I lasted only two days.
They鈥檙e always arguing
I鈥檓 not policing what these boys do with their midnight data, but why would you use it to argue about characters that don鈥檛 even exist in the same anime? When you could be downloading or streaming anime?
Sir, first of all, what is this name?
Then, there’s this guy who either watches the back of the TV or likes to start drama.
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And this guy who鈥檚 obviously the group’s clown.
There鈥檚 this one guy who kinda has taste鈥 kinda
I鈥檇 already braced myself for an insane amount of 鈥渘ew anime鈥 conversations. But there鈥檚 this one guy who鈥檚 always trying to get the group to watch older anime by making memes like these:
One Piece should have ranked first, but this is fine too.聽
To be on this group chat, you have to have thick skin because they will insult you for stupid takes
After spending time with these guys, I’ve come to the conclusion that anime fans are not very nice people. Why are you arguing with someone over a fictional character? I say this while knowing that if someone comes for my fave I will insult their ancestors tbh.
This guy deserved the insults, why would you disrespect Haikyuu?
Society will never be free from comrade memes
For two days, I felt trapped in 鈥渢he bad place鈥. You can鈥檛 scroll without seeing at least 10 comrade memes. Now, I live in fear of seeing these things when I close my eyes:
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Why do they use annoying usernames?
Dear Uvuvwevwevwe onyetenvewve ugwemubwem ossas, your mother did not name you Shikamaru. Do you know how unnerving it is to see a pop-up WhatsApp notification from someone called ? What happened to nicknames like Pweshyboi001 or GangsterTobs123? Two days on this group chat and I tapped into my inner Nigerian father.
The one who said he has mental issues did not lie.
They drag other cinematic universes into their problems
There鈥檚 always that one guy ready to shout, 鈥淏atman will beat Goku鈥 or 鈥 Superman will beat One Punch Man鈥. From where to where? Comparing Marvel or DC characters to anime characters makes no sense because in what multiverse will they have to fight each other?
I鈥檓 anti-military rule, but this guy was promptly removed, which made me happy.
I considered staying an extra day, but the next morning I woke up to 1k plus messages.
From one group chat? Please, please, I鈥檓 an old person.
READ ALSO: Why Watching Anime With Nigerians Is Always Hilarious
