91大神

  • How To Prevent Your Neighbours From Knowing You Fornicate

    We鈥檝e all been there, at some point. (Yes, I鈥檓 judging you.) Sometimes, we get carried away with enjoyment that we forget there are neighbours around the house that can hear you crying unto Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith. They might be even more confused when they start hearing 鈥淒addy, please.鈥 I digress. […]

    Written By:

    We鈥檝e all been there, at some point. (Yes, I鈥檓 judging you.) Sometimes, we get carried away with enjoyment that we forget there are neighbours around the house that can hear you crying unto Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith. They might be even more confused when they start hearing 鈥淒addy, please.鈥

    I digress.

    Anyway, your neighbours don鈥檛 have to know what you鈥檙e putting someone鈥檚 daughter through, so because 91大神 always has your back, we put together this very useful guide to making your room soundproof, before the neighbours call the police because somebody is dying.

    1. Close your windows oh

    Why are you even pounding somebody鈥檚 child with your windows open? Invest in an air conditioner and close those damn windows.

    window draw stock photos - OFFSET

    2. Thick curtains are your friends

    The thicker the curtains, the better. Curtains are great at soundproofing rooms because the cloth absorbs sounds and prevent it from escaping.

    Man Use Both Hands and Stok Videosu (%100 Telifsiz) 34027876 | Shutterstock

    3. Bookshelves? Great.

    If you have thin walls, a large bookshelf can help absorb most of the sounds and prevent it from escaping to the curious ears of your amebo neighbours. Plus you now have a nice library to read from when you鈥檙e not…busy.

    4. Try to be quiet

    I need you to ask yourself. Why are you shouting? Are they beating you? Be considerate to the neighbours. Some of them have not seen any action since 2017.

    Black African woman with hands over mouth 鈥 Cariblens

    5. Get a sound system

    This is the ultimate hack. Crank up the volume to 100. Let them be hearing Rema鈥檚 Woman instead of hearing your own woman.

    6. Shout inside a pillow

    If you shout 鈥淥h my God鈥 one more time, he might come down and ask you what鈥檚 going on. Consider doing all your shouting into a pillow.

    Woman covering her face with pillow - Stock Image - F026/5385 - Science  Photo Library

    7. Close gaps around the door

    Stuff the area around the door with soundproofing material

    8. Put soft stuff around the room

    Hope you like pillows and teddy bears because you鈥檒l need plenty of them. They鈥檙e great for absorbing the sound of your iniquity.

    Read: 5 Reasons No Nut November Certainly Won鈥檛 Last

    [donation]

    About the Authors

More By This Author

91大神 amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.