91����

Aliya* (22) has been earning money since she was 17, and it was primarily driven by necessity. 

In this story, she shares how money brought her independence from her abusive family, allowed her to self-sponsor her education and pursue a better life.

TW: Physical and financial abuse.

Aliya’s story, as told to Boluwatife

Being the last of six children meant my parents had me really late — both were in their 60s when I was born. I think their age led them to believe they couldn’t be hands-on with training and disciplining me, so they outsourced the work to my older brothers. My brothers took the job so seriously that it turned into abuse. 

Actually, it was mostly just one brother. My other brothers had their moments, but my second-eldest brother, Jamiu*, was the main terror. 

We have a 10-year age gap, and his word was law. Jamiu was the first to attend uni in our house, and my parents trusted his judgement because he was the most educated. Whenever Jamiu returned home from school, dread followed him and settled into everyone’s hearts.

Jamiu would beat me for the silliest reasons. I could’ve washed the plates, but someone else used one and dropped it in the sink. That one plate would earn me a severe beating. One time, I was hit over the head with a stool. 

Everything was blown out of proportion, and all my parents did was occasionally apologise on his behalf. Even these moments ended with them advising me not to annoy him next time. They never told him to stop.

My parents, on the other hand, approached discipline differently. They provided all I needed, from school fees to food. They cared for me and were generally protective of me as the last-born. 

However, whenever I offended them or did something they didn’t like, they responded by withholding money. This came in the form of not giving me money for food.

It was something like, “No food for you until you’re truly sorry for what you’ve done.” My siblings would’ve eaten an hour or two before my parents gave me money to buy my own food.

That happened a lot because I often behaved badly and occasionally stepped on people’s toes. I knew I couldn’t put up with the beatings or the withholding of money as punishment, so I started thinking of how to make my own money. 

I thought I wouldn’t have to depend on anyone again if I became independent, and my brothers wouldn’t mistreat me anymore. 

In secondary school, I began using my writing skills to earn lunch money. I wrote stories in 2A notebooks, and my classmates borrowed them to read. Sometimes, they gave me their snack money to read the books. 

Actual monetisation happened after I finished secondary school in 2019. Someone in a WhatsApp group shared that they were looking for a writer to work on a fiction novel. They had the outline already, but they needed someone to write the actual story. I said I could do it, and I got the job. I was 17 at the time. 

The project was a 50,000-word book, and I completed it in four days because I was so excited at the prospect of making money. I was paid ₦25k, at ₦0.5 per word. After that, I actively pursued more ghostwriting gigs. Some of the ones I got didn’t pay as well, but I had some money coming in, and it was great.

Making money also proved my financial independence theory right. My parents still handled my basic needs, but having extra to get the things I wanted, like a used iPhone 7+ and a MacBook in 2021, meant my brothers respected me more and stopped hitting me. 

Also, I started contributing financially to the home. I regularly bought fuel for the generator, randomly bought random food items for the house and often took my brother’s children out for pizza and ice cream. 

My parents began to see me as an adult, so whenever my siblings tried to report me for something, they’d go, “Oh, you know she’s working. Just leave her.” Everyone ultimately learned to leave me alone. It was great.

I started making big girl money from writing in 2022. I had my ghostwriting gigs, but I also found writing platforms that paid me to publish fiction on the site. By this time, my income was comfortably around ₦300k/month. 

Sometimes, I made more, especially when I received bonuses from writing platforms for completing a book. 

I’m glad my experience with my family pushed me to look for money. I’m currently at a university in Kigali, and I sponsored myself here with the money I made from writing.

This is how it happened: I’d already tried uni twice in Nigeria between 2019 and 2021, and it didn’t work out. The first time, I wrote and didn’t get direct entry. The second time, I was admitted, but I didn’t understand the course, and I kept failing. That was largely due to my undiagnosed . The point was, my parents had sponsored me twice, and I’d let them down.

After those two experiences, I no longer wanted to study in Nigeria. But studying abroad wasn’t really an option because my parents couldn’t afford it. Then, in December 2023, a friend sent me information about the uni in Kigali. The tuition was $3k/year, but grants could reduce the amount to $1k payable over three instalments. So, I applied and got admission in 2024. 

My first tuition instalment was $300, and I also needed to pay $180 for insurance, which brought the total fee after conversion to ₦850k. My flight cost ₦450k, and accommodation was another R₣175k (₦188k in naira) for the first month. I also had about ₦21k to pay for a student visa. I gathered the money in about two months and paid all these fees myself without seeking any input from my family.

I didn’t even tell my family about my relocation until two weeks before my flight. It was only my mum that I gave a month’s notice. Initially, I kept it to myself because I wanted to figure out how to pay my fees first. Then later, it was because I didn’t want anyone to question my decision. My brothers would’ve interrogated me about how much I’d spent, and I didn’t have that energy. 

Currently, I support my living expenses with the money I earn from writing and using freelance platforms. I make $200/month on average, which is almost R₣300k. My income primarily covers my rent and foodstuffs. If I need extra money, I occasionally take on small, menial jobs. My parents also support me financially when I absolutely need it.

My program here runs for three years, after which I hope to pursue a master’s degree in the UK or another European country.

Overall, I live a good life, and I don’t regret any of the decisions that brought me here. In a way, I’m grateful to my family for helping me see things better. I’m living the life I’ve always wanted, and it’s only going to get better.

*Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

NEXT READ: My Family Resents Me for Becoming the Breadwinner After My Parents Retired