91大神

  • My Husband Lied About Being Impotent for 7 Years

    He had a whole other family.

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    This story is culled from聽鈥91大神 Daily Shorts鈥, a weekly series exclusive to the聽.听聽to receive the newsletter in your inbox every day and get more stories like this, as well as a round-up of our best articles, inside gist and quizzes.


    This is Favour’s story, as told to Boluwatife

    I was sorting laundry in the bathroom when my phone buzzed with a WhatsApp notification.

    It was an unknown number with a DP of a woman I didn鈥檛 recognise. I almost ignored it until the first line of her message appeared as a preview:

    鈥淔avour, you don鈥檛 know me, but I need to tell you the truth about your husband.鈥

    My heart skipped, and I opened the message with fear lodged in my throat.

    The woman introduced herself as Maria. She said she鈥檇 been with my husband, Joel, for five years, and attached a photo of a small boy who looked disturbingly like him. The boy even had his dimples.

    Then came the part that made my legs go weak:

    鈥淛oel told me you knew about us. He told me he stopped sleeping with you because he鈥檚 no longer attracted to you and can鈥檛 get it up anymore. But that鈥檚 a lie. He has an STI.鈥

    I froze. An STI? Cheating? A whole child?

    My breath shook as I scrolled.

    It was true that Joel and I hadn鈥檛 been intimate for almost the entirety of our marriage. We鈥檝e been married for 10 years, and 7 years ago, he suddenly became impotent. We bought countless medications, but nothing worked. We even secretly adopted our two children when people started whispering about our childlessness. All the while, he had a child?

    Maria鈥檚 final line felt like an earthquake in my stomach: 鈥淗e鈥檚 lying to both of us. Call me before he warns you.鈥

    Before I could even process my thoughts, Joel walked into the house.

    ***

    This story is culled from a weekly series exclusive to the 91大神 Daily Newsletter. for more stories like this.

    I waited until the kids were asleep before I confronted Joel.

    I stood in front of him in our bedroom, my phone in my hand and betrayal burning my throat.

    鈥淛oel,鈥 I said, 鈥渨ho is Maria?鈥

    He froze like someone had splashed cold water on his face. 鈥淏abe鈥 don鈥檛 listen to that woman.鈥

    鈥淪he said you have a child with her,鈥 I whispered. 鈥淪he said you told her you stopped touching me because you no longer find me attractive. But you were sleeping with her?  How could you do this to me? After all these years of covering your shame and lying to our families that the kids are biologically ours?鈥

    He tried to step closer, but I stepped back.

    鈥淵ou made me lie for years,鈥 I said, my voice trembling. 鈥淚 faked pregnancies to protect you. You said you were impotent. We even stopped trying because you claimed it made you uncomfortable. Now I know you just didn鈥檛 want me anymore.鈥

    鈥淔avour, it wasn鈥檛 like that. Please, let me explain,鈥 he said, eyes red.

    鈥淓xplain what?鈥 I shook my head. 鈥淭hat you hid a whole child? That you let people call me childless for years while you were living another life in secret?鈥

    He dropped to his knees.

    鈥淔avour, I beg you. I didn鈥檛 tell you because I was scared. I didn鈥檛 want to lose you.鈥

    He explained that he had contracted Herpes from a random woman and stopped sleeping with me because he was scared of giving it to me. Apparently, he didn鈥檛 know how to bring up the idea of using a condom without me finding out he鈥檇 cheated. 

    I asked about the situation with Maria, and what he said chilled me to my bones.

    ***

    When Joel and I got married, I thought I鈥檇 hit the jackpot.

    Growing up religious, my mum had drilled the importance of finding the 鈥渞ight man鈥 into my head for as long as I can remember.

    I didn鈥檛 have boyfriends in secondary school or university. I was determined that the first man I鈥檇 ever give my heart to would be my husband. Marrying Joel was like the fulfilment of that decision, and I felt so lucky. 

    He was my first love, my first kiss, my first everything. I loved him deeply and was prepared to weather whatever storm life threw at us together. It was why I didn鈥檛 flinch even when he became 鈥渋mpotent鈥 or when he suggested adoption without involving our families. I thought we were in it together.

    But that night, as I stared at the man I鈥檇 loved for ten years, I felt everything crack.

    I watched him silently as he explained how he started seeing Maria. Apparently, abstaining became too difficult for him, and she had mistakenly gotten pregnant.

    What blew my mind was the fact that he had knowingly infected her with Herpes for his own selfish desires. It was the height of wickedness.

    I realised he was a stranger. A man who consciously lied, cheated and denied his wife for years couldn鈥檛 be the man I fell in love with.

    That was when I made my decision. I was leaving.

    By morning, I鈥檇 packed a small bag for the kids and told them we were going to Grandma鈥檚 house. I avoided Joel鈥檚 eyes as he stood in the hallway, looking like a man watching his world fall apart. He鈥檇 begged me on his knees all night, but I couldn鈥檛 breathe in that house anymore. 

    I drove out of the compound, tears blurring my vision. But halfway to my mother鈥檚 house, my phone vibrated.

    Joel鈥檚 elder sister was calling. She never called me this early.

    Something was wrong.

    This story is culled from a weekly series exclusive to the 91大神 Daily Newsletter. for more stories like this.

    ***

    Joel called both families immediately after I left the house and told them I鈥檇 taken the children away because of a 鈥渄isagreement.鈥

    By afternoon, both families were gathered in my mother鈥檚 parlour: his father, his sister, my siblings and even an elder from our church. They didn鈥檛 know the extent of our disagreement. My mum was already saying something along the lines of, 鈥淲hy will you just leave home because of a fight? When did you start that one?鈥

    I smiled sadly. 鈥淢ummy, this isn鈥檛 just any fight. Did Joel tell you he has a child outside our marriage?鈥

    Gasps filled the room, and everyone turned to Joel while he bent his head in shame. Or maybe it was embarrassment. Whatever it was, I no longer cared.

    With a shaky voice, I explained everything to our families. How he had made me believe he was impotent, how we lied about my going abroad to deliver when we鈥檇 actually adopted babies and the revelation about Maria and her child.

    By the time I finished speaking, you could hear a pin drop in the room.

    After about three minutes of silence, his sister shot up. 鈥淛oel, is this true?!鈥

    He covered his face and whispered, 鈥淚 didn鈥檛 know how to say it. Please beg her to forgive me.鈥

    The church elder looked at me and asked, 鈥淔avour, what do you want to do?鈥

    I told him all I wanted to do was find a place I could go with my children. I didn鈥檛 intend to forgive him and play 鈥渉appy family鈥 after everything. I鈥檇 already wasted 10 years of my life; I couldn鈥檛 waste even more.

    While the church elder and my mum tried to beg me to take things easy, Joel鈥檚 dad asked a question that made us all stop in our tracks.

    鈥淲here is Maria and the child now?鈥

    ***

    While the families busied themselves with calling Maria and trying to arrange a peace meeting, I felt absolutely nothing.

    Wait. That鈥檚 not entirely true. I felt intense anger and pain, but I was more concerned about how I was going to start a new life with my children. 

    When Joel鈥檚 father told me they were inviting Maria for a proper family discussion, I simply said, 鈥淚 won鈥檛 be there, sir.鈥 And I wasn鈥檛.

    I heard later that they agreed to support Maria and the child. Good for them.

    As for me, the first thing I did after moving in with my mum was a comprehensive STI test. When I confirmed I was healthy, I found a decent apartment in town and told Joel to pay for it.

    He didn鈥檛 argue. He simply asked for the amount and which of my accounts he could send the money to. When I told him, he made a final attempt to convince me to return home:

    鈥淔avour. I have sinned against you. I鈥檓 sorry. Please forgive me and come back. Let鈥檚 think of the children.鈥

    鈥淵ou still have access to the children,鈥 I said. 鈥淏ut forget anything about me and you. You have the mother of your child to worry about.鈥

    He sighed and ended the call. Minutes later, I received the alert for the amount I asked for. It felt like the final nail in the coffin. He had accepted we were over.  

    Ten years gone in just a few weeks. What would the next few years look like for us?

    This story is culled from a weekly series exclusive to the 91大神 Daily Newsletter. for more stories like this.

    ***

    It鈥檚 been three years since the Maria incident, and sometimes I鈥檓 shocked at how normal my life feels now. Peaceful, even.

    Joel and I never officially divorced; mostly because I haven鈥檛 seen the need to go through the court stress. If he ever plans to remarry, he can start the process with his own money.  

    I don鈥檛 know if I can say I鈥檝e forgiven him, but I don鈥檛 carry anger anymore. That doesn鈥檛 mean I鈥檓 interested in giving him another chance. That will never happen. He might even still be with his Maria.

    We鈥檙e cordial, though. The kids visit him regularly, and I make sure he pays every bill he鈥檚 supposed to. We adopted them together, and they bear his name. They鈥檙e his responsibility, and fortunately, he handles that without argument. 

    My friends sometimes ask if I鈥檒l ever consider love again, but I just laugh.

    Love? As in romantic love? That鈥檚 the last thing on my mind.

    These days, I鈥檓 learning how to show up for myself and my children. I enjoy finding new hobbies and watching my kids grow. That鈥檚 all I need.

    Sometimes, I remember everything that happened and wonder at how far I鈥檝e come. It鈥檚 a miracle I didn鈥檛 lose my mind back then. Maybe it鈥檚 something I should be grateful for. I went through the fire and came out stronger. 

    At the end of the day, I didn鈥檛 lose anything.


    *Names have been changed to protect the subject鈥檚 identity.

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