91大神

  • I Fought to Keep My Son After In-Laws Tried to Take Him. Now I Regret It

    The day my husband died, my mother-in-law took my seven-year-old son without my knowledge, and I realised too late that grief had cost me more than just a husband.

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    This story is culled from the 鈥91大神 Daily Short Story Series鈥, a weekly series exclusive to the . to receive the newsletter in your inbox every day and get more stories like this, as well as a round-up of our best articles, inside gist and quizzes.


    This is Stella’s story, as told to Boluwatife

    The day my husband died, I lost my son, too.

    It happened fast, before I even understood what grief meant. 

    My husband, Patrick, and I had woken up on the same bed that morning, and we鈥檇 done our usual morning routine: devotion and a quick breakfast of tea and bread before he left the house for work, while I took our seven-year-old son, Joseph, to school. 

    It was a normal morning. No sign to warn me that I鈥檇 get a call four hours later from the good Samaritan who鈥檇 taken my husband to the hospital when he noticed a crowd around a bleeding man on the floor. Apparently, the okada my husband took had been thrown off the road by a trailer, and while the okada rider survived, my husband lay on the floor, slowly slipping away. 

    Before I got to the hospital, my husband was already dead.

    While I was still in shock, people were already moving in and out of the house. I remember sitting on the floor in the sitting room, holding my wrapper tight, when someone asked, 鈥淲here鈥檚 Joseph?鈥

    At first, I thought he was with one of the neighbours鈥 children. My neighbour had picked him up from school while I tried not to die from pain. But evening came, and I still didn’t hear his voice; something inside me dropped.

    My husband鈥檚 mum and cousin had come to the house that afternoon because he was buried on the same day. I called my husband鈥檚 cousin, and her response confirmed my suspicions.

    鈥淢ama has carried him. In our family, we don鈥檛 leave our children outside. You will remarry one day. We can鈥檛 leave our brother鈥檚 only child with you.鈥

    I thought she was joking. I laughed a little, waiting for her to say, 鈥淚鈥檓 joking.鈥 But she didn鈥檛.

    That was the moment I realised my child was gone. They鈥檇 stolen him right from under my nose. 

    ***

    When I first met Patrick, I thought love could fix anything.

    We met during our NYSC year. He was quiet and gentle, and he cared for me in a way no one ever had. When I met his mother, I didn鈥檛 need anyone to tell me that she didn鈥檛 like me. It was obvious in her body language. But I brushed it off. 

    I thought, 鈥淚t鈥檚 fine. Once she sees how much we love each other, she鈥檒l come around.鈥

    She never did.

    She said I wasn鈥檛 鈥渉er type of wife.鈥 I was from a different tribe, and my parents were late. But Patrick didn鈥檛 care, and I took that as proof of destiny. 

    We stubbornly got married. Patrick鈥檚 mother frowned throughout our wedding day, but I didn鈥檛 let it get to me. I told myself our love would be enough.

    For a while, it was. We had Joseph, and Patrick worked hard. But love doesn鈥檛 buy diapers. It doesn鈥檛 stop a mother-in-law from believing you鈥檝e 鈥渟tolen鈥 her son.

    And when Patrick died suddenly, all that love turned to dust. I thought my life was over. 

    If only I had known my troubles were just beginning.

    ***

    It took me almost three long, humiliating months to get my son back. 

    At first, I tried talking to my mother-in-law. She refused to pick my calls. Then I went to the family house with one of Patrick鈥檚 uncles, but she didn鈥檛 let us enter her compound.

    鈥淗e鈥檚 my son鈥檚 child,鈥 she said through the gate. 鈥淲e鈥檒l take care of him. Don鈥檛 worry. Just go and live your life.鈥

    How do you tell a mother that she should comfortably leave her child with you? What kind of care did she want to give my child that I couldn鈥檛? Why couldn鈥檛 I even see him?

    There was no kind of begging I didn鈥檛 do. I told her I didn鈥檛 intend to keep her grandchild away from her. I even suggested letting him live with her for the holidays. Instead, she told me I didn鈥檛 have a job and was unfit to provide for the child. She even told me to 鈥済o and marry another man and have another child鈥.

    That was the day I decided to go to the police.

    It turned into a mess. The officers followed me to the village, and things got loud. One of Patrick鈥檚 cousins tried to stop them and ended up in a cell overnight. It was shameful for everyone, but I didn鈥檛 care anymore. I just wanted my son.

    When they finally brought Joseph out, he ran to me. He said, 鈥淢ummy, are you coming to take me home?鈥

    I said yes, even though I didn鈥檛 know what 鈥渉ome鈥 meant anymore without Patrick.

    Mama shouted as we left, 鈥淒on鈥檛 ever bring him back here!鈥

    At the time, I didn鈥檛 realise how serious those words were, or how much I would come to regret my actions later.

    ***

    Getting Joseph back felt like a victory, but it came with scars I didn鈥檛 expect.

    My relationship with Patrick鈥檚 family was finished. Nobody spoke to me again. The cousin who spent a night in jail still won鈥檛 answer my calls. Mama blocked my number completely. I couldn鈥檛 even ask them for help, not for school fees or advice.

    At first, I thought I鈥檇 figure it out. I still had some savings from when I quit my job a year ago to focus on my family. All I needed to do was find a job before my savings finished.  

    Finding a new job wasn鈥檛 as easy as I expected. It seemed like my master鈥檚 degree and years of experience didn鈥檛 matter in the job market. I eventually settled for a job at a pharmacy. I just needed to survive.  

    My new job came with long work hours, and my neighbour, Aunty Rose, helped me pick Joseph up from school sometimes. 

    Then Aunty Rose travelled, and everything started falling apart. I took permission to leave work early far too many times. My boss said, 鈥淢adam, I understand, but business is business.鈥 That was it.

    It鈥檚 been almost two years since my husband died. I鈥檝e tried different other jobs, and have now turned to selling thrift clothes online, but it still feels like everything is working against me. Without support from anyone, it鈥檚 hard to juggle survival and child care. I sometimes skip meals so Joseph can eat.

    Sometimes, when I watch him sleep, I wonder if I didn’t make a mistake in how I handled the situation. 

    I reached out to Patrick’s family again recently, to try to mend things. I didn’t expect the response I got.

    ***

    When I started a family with my late husband, I thought it was my opportunity to get what I never had.

    Growing up orphaned with no siblings was incredibly lonely, and I dreamed of finally having family ties when I got married.

    I think that’s why I still tried to make peace with Patrick’s family even after all they’d done to me. I called them recently. Patrick鈥檚 uncle first, then his younger sister and cousins. No one picked up. 

    I even sent a text to Mama, just saying 鈥淕ood evening, ma鈥 so it wouldn鈥檛 sound like I was begging. She read it and didn鈥檛 reply.

    I expected insults or even warnings never to call again. But I didn’t expect silence. Even if I were the worst person on earth, at least Joseph is their blood. 

    I guess I can’t blame them. I embarrassed the whole family that day with the police. To them, I crossed a line that can鈥檛 be uncrossed. Maybe they think I鈥檓 ungrateful. Maybe they鈥檙e right.

    Joseph has been asking questions lately. 鈥淢ummy, why don鈥檛 we visit Grandma?鈥 鈥淲hy doesn鈥檛 Aunty call me again?鈥 I tell him Grandma is busy, that everyone is just far away. But sometimes he looks at me like he knows I鈥檓 lying.

    At night, when the house is quiet, I find myself scrolling through old pictures; birthdays, weddings and family functions 鈥 even Patrick鈥檚 funeral. Everyone was there then. Now it’s just me.

    ***

    Sometimes I still dream about Patrick. 

    In those dreams, he鈥檚 alive, sitting at the edge of the bed, telling me everything will be okay. And for a few seconds after I wake up, I almost believe it.

    If he were here, I know things would be different. He always had a way of calming his mother, of making people listen. Maybe Joseph would still have both sides of his family. Maybe I wouldn鈥檛 be this tired and broke all the time.

    But he鈥檚 gone, and all I have is this small boy who looks more like him every day. Sometimes, when Joseph laughs, it feels like Patrick is still somewhere close, reminding me why I fought so hard in the first place.

    Still, there are nights I lie awake wondering if I made the right choice; if love and pride blinded me to what was best for him. I can鈥檛 ask for help anymore, and I can鈥檛 turn back time.

    So I keep going, one day after another. Because that鈥檚 all I can do now 鈥 hold on to the child I fought for, and hope it鈥檚 enough.


    *Names have been changed to protect the subject’s identity.

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