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We all have wild uni stories, but these Covenant University grads might just outdo yours.

From unbelievable rules to frustrating moments that felt straight out of a movie, they spill the craziest things that went down during their time on campus. 

“They drug tested us in the middle of the night” — Desmond*, M, 33

“I never even found out what happened that night. I think maybe someone snitched that somebody was smoking on our floor, because around 1 in the morning, they called everyone out and made us go for a drug test.

It was unbelievable because we had exams the next day, and suddenly everyone was being marched out in the middle of the night to go pee in a cup. I don’t even know if they caught anyone, but the whole thing felt completely insane even by CU standards.”

“I almost missed an exam because of my moustache” —Labi*, 27, M

“The morning of my first paper, the invigilator wouldn’t let me into the exam hall. According to him, I grew out my moustache because I was feeling like a “big boy.”

He said I had to go all the way back to my hostel to shave it, or I wouldn’t be allowed to write my exam. I begged and begged, but he was like a brick wall. The second invigilator tried to plead on my behalf, but he refused.

Thankfully, the dean of my department was passing by, and I begged him for help. He allowed me to write that paper, but told me I wouldn’t be allowed to write the next one if I didn’t shave off my moustache. I stayed clean shaven till I went home.”

“I ran all the way to chapel for nothing” — Bisi*, 21, F

“One day in my 100L, there was a sudden announcement at 6:30 pm: ‘Head to the chapel for a special meeting with Papa.” We weren’t allowed to appear in casual wear, so we rushed back to our hostels to change.

Then came a follow-up announcement that the doors would be locked by 7:00 pm and attendance would be taken.

This caused instant pandemonium.

People were running on the road while buckling their belts and tucking in their shirts. No one wanted to find out the punishment that awaited whoever missed this special meeting. After all that, Papa showed up 2 hours late. No apology, nothing.”

“They tricked us into a compulsory drug test” — Sola*, 21, M

“Once, the school lied and told us we had an emergency meeting with Bishop Oyedepo at 9:00 pm that night.

They threatened that missing the meeting would be equivalent to missing a full week of school attendance. Getting to the chapel, we found out it was all a ruse for an impromptu drug test.

It was poorly planned, and no attendance was taken. People were tested up until 6:00 am the next morning, and they still had to go to class or face punishment. It was wild.”

“They shaved our heads!” — Zack*, 29, M to

“After one random chapel service, our chaplain closed the doors and brought in two barbers to shave the heads of all the ‘unkempt’ students in attendance. It was horrible. Some students jumped out of the windows and hid.

The rest of us were scared of getting infections from the clippers, which weren’t being properly sanitised between students. I got my head shaved, and I was angry the whole time.

It was such a big incident that year that it got on newspapers across the nation. It was really irritating and perhaps my worst memory from my time there.”

“They made my roommate retake his final year” — Lamide*, 21, M

“In my final year, my roommate caught a 3-week suspension, so he had to resume school later than the rest of us. Attendance is compulsory, and if a student falls below a certain threshold, they can’t write exams.

They didn’t factor his suspension into his requirements, so when final exams came around, he wasn’t eligible to write seven out of eleven exams.

There was no one he didn’t write to or beg. He got the same response: ‘There’s nothing we can do.’ His mum even came to school to try to sort things out.

He had to retake the year and pay the fees. Till today, I can’t believe they wasted a year of his life like that because of their own mistake. I hate that school so much.”

“Security accused my cousin of being a lesbian spy” — Temi*, 27, F

“I once begged my cousin who lived in Lagos to buy provisions and bring them to me in school. She came wearing a blonde wig and jeans. We were sitting outside one of the cafeterias when security personnel approached us to ask some questions.

They were aggressive and accused her of being a thief and a lesbian spy sent to destabilise the school. I was so confused. They even threatened to take her to their office.

I was scared, but my cousin stood her ground and refused to follow them. It wasn’t until she lost her temper and demanded to see their superior that they left us alone. It was a wild encounter.”

“The school made me miss two exams” — Derayo*, 22, F

“In 300L, I fell seriously ill with malaria and was admitted to the school clinic from Thursday to Saturday night. I was too weak to attend the chapel service on Sunday, and I assumed the medical centre would excuse my absence because of my late discharge time. They did not. They insisted that I should have gathered the strength to go for the service anyway.

This affected my attendance, and when exams came around, I was ineligible to take six of my courses. It was crazy. It took my parents getting involved before they finally revoked the ‘absent’ tag. Before they could resolve the issue, though, I’d already missed two exams, and that meant an automatic carryover. I hated how there was a blemish on my academic record that wasn’t my fault.”

“I almost got expelled because of a SIM card” — Mark*, 24, M

“Throughout my stay there, I hated the no-phone, no-SIM policy. The school’s Internet wasn’t reliable in my 300L, so I snuck in a SIM card for my tablet.

I went to visit my friend in his room one night, and they got a surprise inspection from the porters. I got searched, they found the SIM on me, and so began the most frustrating month of my life. First, the porters tried to force me to bribe them.

I told them I didn’t have the money, so they tried to threaten me with expulsion. When they saw I really didn’t have any money, they reported it to the authorities. I got suspended for three weeks, and the memory leaves a bitter taste in my mouth till today. That suspension almost ruined my relationship with my parents forever, and it definitely left a dent in my grades.”

“My Friend got suspended for his wallpaper” — Tare*, 30, M

They suspended a friend of mine because his wallpaper was a Pirates of the Caribbean poster, and they actually tagged it as “cultism,” as per he was in some kind of cult.

Another friend of mine got suspended for “pornography” because they found a picture of Beyoncé in a bikini top and jeans when they randomly stopped him and searched his laptop.

I always found it unbelievable, the titles they gave to offences, so they could justify the most ridiculous punishments.

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