91大神

  • 5 Nigerians on Watching Their Partner Get Intimate With Someone Else

    AKA “Cuckolding”

    Written By:

    If you鈥檝e watched the new Blood Sisters on Netflix, you couldn鈥檛 have missed that unhinged scene where a paralysed Femi (Gabriel Afolayan) arranges for another man to satisfy his wife, Yinka (Kehinde Bankole), as he watches. While some saw the brazen display of cuckolding as an act of love and sacrifice, others found it disturbing. 

    Curious about how Nigerians actually feel, we asked people to share their experiences, fantasies and opinions on cuckolding. Here鈥檚 what they had to say.

    鈥淲atching my babe with other men turns me on鈥 鈥 Seun, 31

    鈥淚鈥檝e always had this thing where I imagine what I look like from the outside when I鈥檓 with someone I鈥檓 attracted to. I think that鈥檚 where it started. Whenever my babe and I go clubbing, I genuinely enjoy watching other guys dance with her. Seeing her confidence, the way she moves and how much attention she gets does something for me.

    The funny thing is that I don鈥檛 really focus on the other guy. In my head, I almost project myself into the situation. It鈥檚 more about watching her than watching him. I鈥檝e only ever explored this dynamic with my current partner because there鈥檚 a level of trust between us. We鈥檝e been together for years, and it鈥檚 one of those things that adds excitement to our relationship.鈥

    Get More 91大神 Goodness in Your Mail

    Subscribe to our newsletters and never miss any of the action

    鈥淚t鈥檚 on my bucket list, but only with my husband鈥 鈥 Chioma, 27

    鈥淚 won鈥檛 lie, it鈥檚 one of those adventurous things I鈥檝e always been curious about. The idea fascinates me, but it鈥檚 not something I鈥檇 ever consider with a random boyfriend. For me, there has to be a ridiculous amount of trust and security before I even think about something like that.

    I鈥檝e always been attracted to unconventional people, so I imagine whoever I eventually marry will be open-minded enough to have conversations about things like this. Until then, it remains a fantasy more than anything else. I can imagine it, joke about it and discuss it, but actually doing it with someone who could disappear from my life next month makes absolutely no sense to me.鈥

    鈥淚 tried it once and still don鈥檛 know how I feel about it鈥 鈥 Hawwal, 34

    鈥淲hen I was in university, I attended a very private house party where people were encouraged to come with their actual partners. It wasn鈥檛 some huge public thing. It was low-key, invitation-only, and built on trust among the people there.

    I convinced my girlfriend at the time to come with me. Looking back, I think curiosity carried me more than anything else. In the moment, it felt exciting because everyone involved seemed comfortable and there were no hard feelings. But after it was over, I couldn鈥檛 decide how I actually felt. I don鈥檛 regret the experience, but I鈥檝e never repeated it. Outside of a very specific environment like that, I don鈥檛 think it鈥檚 something I鈥檇 be interested in exploring again.鈥

    鈥淚t became one of our ways to keep things exciting鈥 鈥 Ada, 28

    鈥淢y boyfriend is bisexual, and that was part of what initially attracted me to him. I鈥檝e always found the idea of men being attracted to other men interesting, so it never felt strange to me.

    Over the course of our relationship, there were moments when I watched him share that side of himself, and I found it exciting. Interestingly, it never turned into a group experience because that鈥檚 where I personally draw the line. For me, the appeal was always in observing rather than participating. These days, it happens far less often because our relationship has become more settled and grounded. We鈥檙e focused on building something serious now. Still, it remains one of those experiences that helped shape our relationship and brought us closer during its more adventurous phase.鈥

    鈥淔or me, it鈥檚 about trust, not the other person鈥 鈥 Kemi, 32

    鈥淚 think people assume the appeal is always about sex, but that鈥檚 not how I see it. What fascinates me is the level of trust involved. The idea that two people can be so secure in their relationship that they can be adventurous without everything falling apart is what interests me.

    I鈥檝e never actually done anything like that, and I don鈥檛 know if I ever will. But I don鈥檛 judge people who do. Relationships already come in so many forms. What works for one couple might be a complete disaster for another. Personally, I鈥檓 less interested in the act itself and more interested in the psychology behind why some couples are drawn to it.鈥

     *Names have been changed to protect the identity of the subjects.


    罢丑别听聽is returning on August 22, 2026, in Lagos! Come learn from finance experts and industry leaders, and partake in unfiltered conversations about building wealth and diversifying your income stream in a country like Nigeria.聽Real stories, expert advice you can actually use, and a community ready to build wealth together.聽.

    About the Authors

More By This Author

91大神 amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.