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Since your chances of finding boo in a typical Nollywood boy-jams-girl-on-the-road-and-they-fall-in-love style is practically zero (because you’ll never actually leave your house), you might as well make sure your online dating game is watertight. 

Add these conversation starters to your arsenal and thank me with anything — except puff-puff, ew.

“Let’s hate Nigeria together”

A mutual dislike for Nigeria + japa plans = Happily ever after.

“What’s the worst opening line you’ve ever received?”

This could be a fun way to start a conversation around bizarre opening lines, plus you also get expo on things they don’t want to hear. PS: This may only work if the receiver already likes you.

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“Send me your account number”

You must have seen this coming. What better way is there to catch someone’s attention? But be careful o. If you try this without any money in your account, sorry is your name.

“If you could change cities, where would you go?”

Bonus points if they live in Lagos, because they’ll definitely be traumatised and ready to unload all the ways the city is killing them.

“Are you fuel? ‘Cause your type is hard to find”

They’ll either find you funny and want to keep talking or they’ll air you till infinity.

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Obi or Tinubu?

Use this for the ones that put “sapiosexual” on their bio. They’re the ones looking for stimulating conversation.

“I want to free you from capitalism”

It’s lowkey giving “come and be a house husband/wife” but at this point in my life, even I am open to it. Take care of me, boo.

“W�����쾱��’s Made in Lagos didn’t deserve album of the year” 

Tell them that the Headies made a mistake and they’ll either come violently for you or agree with you. Either way, you’ll get a response and you can tell them how much you want to suck face with them.

“Plantain is bottom-barrel”

Again, a terrible opinion but it’ll catch attention because they’ll want to know why you have such rubbish taste.

“I have a Canadian passport”

They’re sure to reply with, “Let’s get married.”

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