From: Simi, the woman who wants her secondary school bestie back

To: Taofeeqat, her best friend who made the best jokes

Dear Taofeeqat,

It鈥檚 crazy how we鈥檝e been best friends since SS 2. I don鈥檛 know if you know this, but you鈥檙e the first best friend I ever had who didn鈥檛 do me dirty. 

Before you, every other person I applied the tag 鈥渂est friend鈥� to played me on a very massive scale. But that鈥檚 okay because all the hurt gave me you.

You鈥檙e the first person who鈥檚 ever made me laugh out loud. You cared about me, and you weren鈥檛 ashamed to show it. You loved on me and sent me such long love letters that always made me cry. I now cry because life is hard and it鈥檚 hard to not feel resentment towards how we鈥檙e too busy to talk as often. I wish I kept all of our letters to read.

Did you annoy me and make me want to break your head at times? Probably, yes. But you were my first in a lot of things: My first 鈥淚 love you鈥� was to you, and I meant it. My longest hug was with you. You were the first friend to see me cry, and the first I ever wrote a love letter to. 

I know we鈥檙e going through a lot, and we鈥檙e busy trying to build lives for ourselves, but I wanted to remind you of the happy times when our biggest problem was submitting assignments. Not a day went by when we didn鈥檛 hug each other.  

I miss those long hugs we had before everything fell apart between us last year. I miss the long love letters we wrote in black and red pen. Ah yes, I miss having so much to gossip with you about. 

Just in case we never go back to the way we were, I want to thank you for being in my life the longest yet hurting me the least. Thank you for being calm and supportive when I went into hysterical breakdowns over anything that stressed me out. Thank you for loving me so gently that I didn鈥檛 have a single fear in the world. 

This is my attempt at a love letter to get us to talk again and be as close as we used to be. Hopefully, you鈥檒l blush and send me epistles when you see it. 

I love you so much, bestie. I can鈥檛 tell my story without you in it.

Love,

Simi

From: Asa, who wishes she met her older sister at least once

To: Barbara, the older sister who鈥檚 gone but not forgotten

Dear Barbara,

Is there a thing like missing someone you never met?

I hardly speak about losing you. I often think people won鈥檛 understand or they鈥檇 believe I’m looking for sympathy if I tell them I miss you though we never met. All I have are memories from our parents. But I miss you, sister. 

To me, family is thicker than physical. Family is always family. 

Dear Barbara, I’m grown now. Well, still evolving. But my perspective on life has changed. I’m on this journey of taking my love for writing more seriously, and听 I wonder if you鈥檇 be proud of me. I’m hoping you would, and I hope you don’t mind that this letter is about you.

Dear Barbara, I look out for our younger sister. I know you’d do the same if you were here, and sometimes I wish you were here to look out for me too. Some days, I feel alone. But the thought that you would鈥檝e been my best friend comforts me. I hear you whisper every time to me, “You鈥檙e strong.” Please don’t stop.听

RELATED: I鈥檓 Lonely and Sometimes Wish I Had a Larger Family

Dear Barbara, mummy is also okay. I can’t help but think she wishes you were here. I want her to talk about you, but I don’t know if the pain is still there, so I’ll just manage the little I know of you. Like your name and how much mum loved you. I promise I’ll take care of her and our younger sister.

Everyone else is doing okay, and I can’t wait for life to keep bringing everything it has for us. 

Dear Barbara, I鈥檒l name your niece after you. Keep shining in heaven. I love you and one day, I’ll see you.  Until then, I’ll see you in the stars and the butterflies, my sister. 

All my heart,

Ada

尝别迟迟别谤蝉听#ToHER will be ending in September. We have one more slot to share a letter, so click听 if you’d like to write one too.

If You Liked reading this, then you should read this next: I Wish I Had an Elder Sister

The babe that has at least five foundations lined up in her drawer: 

And the friend that can鈥檛 do makeup to save her life :

Is a friendship really complete if one friend doesn鈥檛 always need help getting ready for events? I can鈥檛 imagine such.

The friend that goes on the wildest dates and brings all the tea:

And the friend that鈥檚 planning to marry her secondary school crush:

Don鈥檛 you just love a duo with one friend who shows wickedness on the streets and another who tensions everyone on social media with 鈥淕od when鈥� vibes? 

RELATED: 7 Reasons Why You Will Continue Saying 鈥淕od When鈥�

The ballsy friend that doesn鈥檛 take crap from anybody:

The ajebo friend that needs ginger to try new things:

Blood Sisters is one movie that sums up what this type of friendship looks like. You have the babe that鈥檚 willing to kill for her friend and the babe that鈥檒l ride or die with her crazy friend.

The planner:

The carefree friend that trusts the universe to decide what happens in life:

Someone has to take charge of the future while the other person schedules periods to calm down.

The besties who have their periods in sync and have an attitude together:

Every real friendship has to be sealed by tears, blood and period cramps.

RELATED: 7 Things About Periods That Are More Annoying Than Bleeding

The anxious friend that doesn鈥檛 realise how smart she is:

The friend that鈥檚 always on standby to hype her bestie:

Every girl needs a babe friend that鈥檒l hype her up unprovoked and knows exactly how to get her energy up.

The bestie who鈥檚 a social media influencer:

And the bestie that has to give feedback before every video and picture goes up and still hypes a post like she鈥檚 never seen it in her life:

Behind every creative is a bestie who doubles as a manager and hype woman.

The bestie who鈥檚 married,  a hot mum and premium pie:

And the bestie who鈥檚 single and prefers to play the rich aunty role forever: 

Imagine the joy of getting to play mummy and returning the kids back to their real mummy when you鈥檙e over them. That鈥檚 the joy of every rich aunty out there.

The gym babe that鈥檚 all about the squats:

And the bestie that has the superpower to eat five times a day without adding weight:

How can we all benefit from the superpower of eating without spending the whole day sucking in our tummies? These are global issues we need to address. 

The pasta babe that only wants to eat out:

And the bestie who doubles as an accountant:

It鈥檚 either your bestie goes broke and spends months on your couch, or you put on your accountant hat and play devil鈥檚 advocate anytime she wants to squander money in the name of enjoyment.

The ride-or-die besties that only say  鈥淚 love you鈥� once in a blue moon

ALSO READ: Manage This Hug for the Next Three Years

From: Arike, the woman who sees herself as an extension of her mum

To: Iya Arike, a woman who’s deeply missed

Iya Arike,

I鈥檝e thought about everything I wanted to write in this letter every day that led up to this moment. But here I am at past 1 in the morning and nothing seems perfect or right. I guess that鈥檚 because none of this is right. I shouldn鈥檛 be writing this letter talking about the crushing pain in my chest from missing you so much. I think 鈥淚 miss you so much it hurts,鈥� is such a hauntingly beautiful line whenever I come across it in novels. But now I鈥檓 experiencing it, all I see and feel is the unending pain in my chest from losing you.

It鈥檚 been over a year now, but it feels like just yesterday, you took your last breath in my arms. It feels like just yesterday, I was scrambling to remember everything I learnt about CPR from medical school so I could bring you back from what should鈥檝e been a nap. It鈥檒l always feel like just yesterday, I felt my heart plummet to my feet when I realised you were gone.

But a million and one things have happened since you鈥檝e been gone. The earth had the audacity to keep spinning as my entire world was crumbling without you. I鈥檓 stuck with so many questions I don鈥檛 have answers to, mummy. 

RELATED: I Still Haven鈥檛 Found a Better Gist Partner, Mum

I have no idea who I am anymore. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and don鈥檛 recognise myself. The person staring back at me cannot be your Arikenke. But then, how can I be Arike without you Iya Arike? How can I live with just the memories of you? Memories of the past? I鈥檓 so lost without you.

You spoke way too much about the future to not be in it with me, mummy. You had the outfit you鈥檇 wear for my induction planned. You spoke so fondly about my wedding, how you鈥檇 come to do omugwo and how my siblings and our future families would all come back home for the Christmas holidays. 鈥淵ou can spend new year鈥檚 with your inlaws鈥�, you鈥檇 say. 

As it stands, you鈥檝e missed three graduations so far, and it hurts that you鈥檒l miss mine too. Damn, you鈥檒l miss everything you spoke about mummy. The beautiful visions of the future you always painted with your words will always exist in my mind, but reality will never measure up.

It鈥檚 funny how when I was younger, I鈥檇 always disagree with people when they say I look like you. The daddy鈥檚 girl in me just wouldn鈥檛 allow it. But here I am now, basking in those comments I now consider compliments. Because if I turn out to be like you, that鈥檇 be the best thing I can aspire to be. 

RELATED: If Your Mother Is Your Best Friend, You Can Relate

Is it weird that I think you鈥檙e my soulmate, mummy? Because it should be impossible to love and miss you as much as I do if you aren鈥檛 an extension of me. I guess this is why I feel like people who met me after you passed will never truly know me. They鈥檇 never truly know the Arike who was loved so dearly and intentionally by her mother. You were all the best parts of me. 

My heart will love you forever, Iya Arike. My thoughts will always stray to memories of you, and my soul will yearn for yours as long as there is breath in my lungs. 

Watch over your baby, mummy. I鈥檓 just trying my best and in way more pain than I let on. 

All of my love, 

Your Arikenke.

Letters #ToHER will be ending in September. We have two more slots to share a letter, so click  if you’d like to write one too.

ALSO READ: 8 Hard-to-Miss Signs Your Mum is Really Happy You鈥檙e Her Daughter

From: Timah, a woman who wants to be as kind and present as her best friend

To: Wunmi, the best friend going through a rough patch

Dear Wunmi,

I鈥檓 sincerely sorry I haven’t been a good friend in the last year. I’ve been selfish and way too absorbed by my woes to notice how difficult life has become since your relationship ended. Too absorbed to notice your fake smile at my weird jokes, or how you ignored my rude remarks about the break-up even though they hurt. I鈥檓 sorry I wasn鈥檛 as sensitive as you needed me to be.

I always ascribed your incessant kindness to curiosity, but an epiphany has made me realise it stems from pure undiluted love.

I have no idea how someone so selfless and kind would care about a narcissist like me. But I want you to know, although I can’t promise to change overnight, I’ll always make a conscious effort to overwhelm you with delicious acts of service.

I want to go on dates with you 鈥� a soiree of some sort 鈥� as besties. I know taking pictures isn鈥檛 your forte, but imagine how we would freeze time with our awkward smiles and lopsided poses for shy girls.

RELATED: The Introvert Guide to Making Friends

I want us to binge on your favourite snacks, stuffing our faces with every last crumb. Watching as you try something new and complain bitterly about false advertising and overpriced unnecessaries, or sandwich a compliment between mouthful sighs to water down the aspersions.

I want us to have sleepovers, comparing notes about past lovers, but eventually taking their sides and remembering only the good because we鈥檙e soft-hearted hard guys. I love our laughable combination of twisting and writhing we call dancing to loud evergreen songs. And doing it all while we’d sing wrong lyrics aloud without a care in the world. 

Wunmi, I want to dance with you, then slowly slip away and watch you dance alone, smiling ear-to-ear with a tear in my eye upon the realisation that I鈥檝e struck gold by being friends with you.

RELATED: Here鈥檚 What Your Love Language Has to Say About You

Complete happiness might not be realistic in this cracked-up world, so I pray for you to have complete contentment and a loving spouse who adores you. Anything less would be unacceptable.

I love you so much, and I hope life smiles broadly at you in every aspect you need and more. Let’s always be in each other’s lives.

If岷� ti Emi ko y岷� ni ohun ti o fun mi. O ti f岷箁脿n mi lainidi. 

Thanks for loving me, my friend.

Your nonchalant sunshine,

Timah

We have three more slots for Letters #ToHER before it officially comes to an end. If you’d like to write a letter #ToHER, click  to tell us why

ALSO READ: 8 Things to Know Before Making Friends as an Adult

From: Camela 鈥淢eme鈥� Etoruom, whose bestie is her grandma

To: Ms Angelina 鈥淢ma Ange鈥� Ndukwe, who brings bright colours to her granddaughter鈥檚 world

Dear Mma Ange, 

On my 18th birthday, I remember writing about the colours in my life and I opened with this: 鈥淢y grandmother is the shade of orange you see in the sky before the sun sets. The one you take pictures of because you鈥檙e scared you鈥檒l never see such beauty again, the one you think about in the dark and ask your friends, 鈥淥mg, did you see the sky?鈥�

Mma, everything good in my life stems from the fact that you splattered colour in my life when it felt like a dark tunnel and refused to come to an end. I love you because you saw me when I couldn鈥檛 see myself, walked with me in love and understanding in my prime moments of teenage angst, and showed apathy towards everything. The most amazing part was seeing how our love evolved to fit every stage. A thing only a few people will truly experience.听

RELATED: 12 Extremely Specific Things Every Nigerian Grandma Owns

If I count my blessings, the fact I get to call you 鈥淢ma鈥� is at the top of my list. Mma, you have always been more than a sweet grandmother to me. Your laughter is a sound that rivals Kanye鈥檚 melodic prowess and your sarcasm makes me laugh carelessly when laughing seems like a myth to me. 

Thank you for letting me run around your house to read everything I could get my hands on as a kid 鈥� the reason why people think I know random facts unprovoked. Your taste in movies might be questionable, but I got to watch 鈥檚 wedding with you and I felt lucky because I got to gush about the royals with my grandma!

RELATED: My Grandmother Died and Took Her Special Corn Recipe With Her

My favourite moments are in your parlour reading books or having conversations where you don鈥檛 fail to remind me it鈥檚 okay to be expressive.

You鈥檙e my best friend, Mma; the reason I tell people that friendship is the greatest asset in living this life. You鈥檙e the funniest woman in the world, and I鈥檓 holding on to reincarnation because I hope I get to spend another life with you as my favourite miracle. 

I hope we get to the 鈥淢eme spoiling Mma baby鈥� part of our lives soon. You deserve everything good, perfect and la Vida Loca as the baby girl that you are! 

To many more good-time conversations and memories, bestie. 

Camela.

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ALSO READ: These Are the Coolest Nigerian Grandmas You鈥檝e Ever Seen

From: Busayo, a hard babe

To: Ifeoma, the gentle, kind and sweet soul

Dear Ifeoma,

I know being sweet and romantic is really off-brand for us. But you鈥檙e the only person that deserves this side of me if I鈥檓 being honest. 

I hit the best friend jackpot with you and I mean that with all my heart. Earlier today, you said you love how we always have the same views on everything, and that is ridiculously true. I can count on one finger the things we don鈥檛 have the same opinions about. But Ifeoma, it doesn鈥檛 change the fact that I still have more sense than you.听

You鈥檙e my biggest supporter, my sister, my best friend and my confidant. I know when I鈥檓 feeling sad, I can call you and I鈥檒l come out of that call feeling 100% better. I know it鈥檚 the same for you.

RELATED: Four Months of Living Together and Hopefully We Don鈥檛 Kill Each Other

Anytime people are talking about failed female friendships, I know deep in my heart and my soul that it鈥檒l never ever be us. Our friendship is too special. 

This past month has been different for me because I started something new, and you鈥檙e the only person I talked to about my worries. You made it better, way better. You listened to me, understood and encouraged me. You鈥檙e my gift from God. I love you, I really really do. 

Ifeoma, I can鈥檛 remember the last time we showed affection, so you know that me telling you I love you now is the one you鈥檒l hold and manage for the next three years. I hope this makes your day as you鈥檝e been making mine for the past four years we鈥檝e been best friends. And please, don鈥檛 forget you can never ever be as sweet as I am, okay? Just leave that part of our relationship for me. 

Love you Ifeoma.

With Love,

Busayo

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RELATED: Maybe You Should Cut Your Bad Friends Some Slack? Here鈥檚 Why

From: Onyinye, a woman who expects her best friend鈥檚 child to be named after her

To: Toyosi, the best friend who makes their friendship as refreshing as cold garri

Dear Toyosi,

You weird beautiful girl. First, I want to say you鈥檙e as amazing as you鈥檙e beautiful. I thank God every day for what we have, this friendship. It鈥檚 sweeter than honey and as refreshing as cold garri on a hot day. Maybe that鈥檚 why I鈥檓 writing 鈥� because I want you to see a written form of my love for you.

Do you even remember our story? Because I don鈥檛, honestly. It鈥檚 like we鈥檝e known each other forever. How we started talking because of a gossip you were caught up in, there鈥檚 the part of having a lot in common 鈥� missing fathers, first daughters who carry a lot of burden on their shoulders, a love for God and food 鈥� little wonder we connected so well.

Most times, I remember how you make me feel more than what you say. Like when we get bored, and I keep my head on the table while you run your hands through my hair until I sleep off. That鈥檚 one thing I love about you, you鈥檙e intentional about our friendship and how you love me. Running your hands through my hair made me feel like I was home. I felt so at peace. Honestly, I think that was how I started trusting you without a second thought.

Thanks babes for always trying to get me to go out and try new things, not only when it comes to life, but also when it comes to our love for God. Let鈥檚 not forget that if you didn鈥檛 drag me out, I wouldn鈥檛 have all my fine fine Instagram pictures.听

RELATED: Four Months of Living Together and Hopefully We Don鈥檛 Kill Each Other

Toyosi, you鈥檙e a very weird child. Who on earth invites someone to their house for the first time and gives them cold garri and milk? Who decides to teach a girl how to put on make-up just because they鈥檙e friends? Who takes in a friend they鈥檝e known for a short time just because life is happening to that friend? You. You鈥檙e weird, sweet, and I love it.听

I often ask you why we鈥檙e friends. You absolutely don鈥檛 benefit from this relationship like I do. Yet, you tell me every time that you love me. You always show up when I鈥檓 in my ghost mode. Nagode.

I know I always tell you you鈥檙e sweet, nice and gorgeous, but you should know you鈥檙e also strong and amazing.

Babes, our dreams, they鈥檒l come true someday. We鈥檒l travel around the world, and I鈥檒l watch you take all those stupid rollercoaster rides while I take pictures because no be me you go kill.

But till then, as we hustle remember, I love you best, girl. I love you when you鈥檙e at your lowest and when you鈥檙e at your strongest. 

As a closing remark, kindly make money abeg. I鈥檓 tired of working. And please, do and find a man, so you can name your child Onyinye too. And I鈥檒l name mine Toyosi.

With lots of love,

From your weird bestie

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ALSO READ: We Were Best Friends In Secondary School, Now We Are Married

From: Abolade, a woman wants her soulmate to know how much she鈥檚 loved

To: Ariyike, the ying to Abolade鈥檚 yang 听

Dear Ariyike,

I love you. Listen, I love you so much. I don鈥檛 think you understand that I love you so fucking much. You鈥檙e a priority. You鈥檙e my friend, You鈥檙e my sister, you鈥檙e my family, you are my soulmate, you鈥檙e my person and you鈥檙e my bestie for life. You鈥檙e the yang to my yang. LMAO. The point is, me and you, you and me, will be together forever!

I love you for being you: my shy, weird, hilarious and beautiful baby. I love you for loving me. I love you when you鈥檙e hilarious. I love you when you act like a goat. I love how much you care for me, always on my ass to study for tests and exams. Always trying to make me feel better when I鈥檓 in my depressive state. 

Tanwa, 矛w峄� ni 峄嵦�r岷固� t铆 mo n铆 t铆 mi 貌 m貌 p茅 m貌 艅 w谩 . Thank you for making it easy to confide in you. Thank you for being a safe place. Thank you for loving me, consistently validating my existence, gassing me up, and constantly reminding me of what I鈥檓 capable of. Thank you for existing.

RELATED: What Life Is Like When Your Best Friend Is Your Soulmate

峄屘�r岷固� mi, o d霉n. You鈥檙e the honey to my tea, If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I鈥檇 have a galaxy. You鈥檙e the electrician that lights up my day and night. You鈥檙e the best track on my album. You鈥檙e the most beautiful picture in my photos. The salesman to my copy. LOL, I know I am saying rubbish. The point is, you complete me. There is no me without you. You make me happy, you make me want to live, you make me want to create more memories with you and you make me want to relive the ones we鈥檝e created. 

I love you so much, and listen, we will make it. So you see those ways you want to flex? Ma worry, soonest.听 峄屘�r岷固� mi, a m谩a jay茅 foreign. 峄宭峄嵦乭un gb峄嵦�. Mo love e d谩k煤.

May our friendship last for as long as we exist,

Abolade.

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ALSO READ: 鈥淭he Yin to My Yang鈥� 鈥� 5 Nigerians on Having Platonic Soulmates

From: Odunayo, who misses her crazy cousin

To: Oyinlola, the fun, waka waka cousin

Dear Oyinlola,

A letter I read reminded me of how much I鈥檝e missed us since you travelled. 

I don鈥檛 know what exactly made us so close, but I guess it was my frequent visits to your house during the holidays when I was four years old. I always looked forward to visiting you because you had a larger family than mine. Then you started coming to my house with your siblings and we found that we had so many things in common 鈥� fashion sense, straight-talking attitude and all.

We became inseparable. Even when you gained admission into the university in 2013, I was always waiting for you to come home so we could hang out. There was no one I鈥檇 rather gossip with about family, talk about relationships and the kind of woman I wanted to grow into.听

And when I got into university in 2018, I made sure you were the first person I came home to see, except you were away. I miss those random visits to see other family members, the late nights and waka waka, like on my birthday. We left Ikorodu for Lekki at night, got there very late, ate pizza, and walked around like our dad owned the land despite the insecurity in this country. But I wasn鈥檛 bothered. When we were together, we felt so safe and unbothered.

RELATED: What Happens When You and Your Favourite Cousin Fight?

I definitely miss our craziness. Remember when I was 18 and we visited our other cousin’s place and begged him to get us alcohol? You were 21 and old enough to drink, but we鈥檇 always fantasised about getting drunk together. And as expected, after drinking, we acted like goofballs, slept off and woke up at intervals whenever one of our phones rang because we had the same ringtone.听

Then there was that guy spilling rubbish because we refused to talk to him on the road. Of course, we insulted him. What about the days we spent at Ilorin during your service year? I鈥檇 just gotten into uni and you were always proud to introduce me to everyone as your baby sister.听

RELATED: Sunken Ships: My Cousin Grew Up

I miss you so much, Oyin. There鈥檚 nobody to call me saying,  “Odunayo, where are you? Come na, let’s have a nice time.鈥� Nobody to drag me out of the house and tell me that I鈥檓 too serious with life. I can’t even go to the island for the Sallah holiday because you’re not there. Who will I talk to or record funny Snapchat videos with?

I鈥檓 just glad we could utilise every moment we鈥檝e spent together since we were kids. Now that you鈥檙e in a completely different country, I can hold onto those crazy memories. There was no dull moment with you. And you鈥檙e one of the best people I鈥檝e had in my life.

Also, thanks for the urgent 鈧�2k you used to send whenever sapa choked me in school.

Missing you,

Odunayo

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ALSO READ: 12 Things to Expect When Your Cousin From Abroad Visits