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Last week, some people (Khosicle) were hoping to evade nominations, and others (me) were hoping Olivia and Thabang find their way into each other’s arms. Safe to say none of that happened. 

Instead, Yemi continued double dating in Biggie’s small duplex, Olivia has denied her feelings for Thabang, and Maya and Miracle are on a press tour.

General Kj’s reign

Monday marked the beginning of Kanaga Jr’s military reign in the house as he and his partner, Blue Aiva, won the head of house challenge. Unlike the other tyrant, who shall not be named, General Kj’s requests were pretty simple, do your chores, participate in the wager task and don’t sleep when the sun is still out. Kj and Blue Aiva led the house to their second wager win of the season.

MAYA’s media rounds 

Heavy is the head and other stories. After Monday’s save and replace, Marvin and Yaya have gone around the house with Kanaga Jr’s name on the tip of their tongues. Yaya won’t stop asking why, and Marvin won’t stop with his ridiculous analysis about how Kanaga Jr’s decision was based solely on the fact that Tsatsii (Kj’s babe) apparently likes Marvin. 

#Khoyemi’s weekly break-up make-up

Once again, Khosi called it quits with Yemi Cregx because of his philandering ways and took him back exactly two hours later. Whoever washed Yemi’s head before he entered the house should give us a call. We have a country in need of divine intervention for you.

Le tour de Miraculous

Clearly, these housemates think the house is big, like Aso Rock. Miracle’s had enough of Jenni O, her reign in the kitchen, her loud mouth and all the boubous she brought into the house. Now he’s telling everyone to remember Jenni O’s name during the nominations. What we actually need is for them to get out with their rubbish before we get a battle of American accents.

Introducing Thabang-er

Mr “I’m just here for the money” Thabang has moved from wanting to avoid entanglements and ships to being the captain of one ship and an active participant in two others. Truly, anything worth doing is worth doing well.

READ: How to Watch BBTitans and Retain Your Sanity

“I Olivia do not like Thabang”

We should abolish crushes, because look what it’s done to Oli baby. After Juicy Jay’s slip-up with Big Brother in the diary room, Olivia has gone on to throw a tantrum, cry, verbally swear an affidavit and renounce her feelings for Thabang, all under 12 hours. 

Kanatsii’s first fight

Is this how you relationship people used to fight? Tsatsii sat down on that day-bed and told Kanaga Jr “I’m going to leave” at least 5 times, and every time, he’d pull her closer and apologise. 

I can’t lie, it’s cute as hell, and I’ll take it over daddy Cregx’s rendezvous any day. 

In all this, my heart goes out to all Olibang shippers. Hopefully, we vehemently continue being delusional the same way Jenni O has vehemently refused to return Olivia’s bone straight.